A heartfelt family tale about a man who buys a zoo and gets body slammed repeatedly.
- Benjamin Mee
- Dylan Mee
- Rosie Mee
- Mr. Stevens
- John Cena
- Kelly Kelly
- Rey Mysterio
- Triple H
(The scene begins.)
Benjamin Mee: See, kids? It has everything we need to start over! Wide-open spaces, fresh air, (Animal noises.) and wild animals.
Mr. Stevens: You do realize you're buying a ZOO, right?
Benjamin Mee: No one else seems to want it!
Mr. Stevens: That's not true, but since you seem normal, we're going with you! (Hands the deed to Benjamin.)
Benjamin Mee: YAY! Look, gang! We bought a zoo!
John Cena: Correction: WE bought a zoo!
(Title card: WWe Bought a ZOO)
Benjamin Mee: You can't just take over! I'm the deed holder! (Shows his deed.)
John Cena: (Takes the deed.) ZOINK! Now I'M the deed holder!
Benjamin Mee: Uh, that's not really how an ownership works.
Rey Mysterio: No, but this is how a bodyslam works! (Bodyslams Benjamin.)
(Triple H and John Cena laugh.)
Benjamin Mee: Why do you even want a zoo?
Triple H: Well, they bought all the rest of the leagues, so the next logical step was the zoo!
Benjamin Mee: I don't really follow that much.
Rey Mysterio: Oh, can you follow this? Bodyslam! (Bodyslams Benjamin again.)
(Scene goes to Triple H and an injured Benjamin Mee walking in the zoo.)
Triple H: See, the reason this zoo went out of business was because it's boring. We're gonna fix this place up and make it exciting!
Benjamin Mee: EXACTLY! Now I was thinking a gift shop would spice things up.
Triple H: Really? I was thinking we teach the animals how to WRESTLE!!
Rey Mysterio: You need a "persona"! Without a mask, people will realize you don't have a personality. See? (Points to his mask.) Personality. (Points to a raccoon.) Personality. (Points to Benjamin Mee.) No personality. (Animal noise.)
John Cena: If you want people to like you, you need to learn how to "rap"! You think you're a lion? Well, you are just a rat! And I rap "rat" with "rap"!
(They get into a fight, showing a sign saying "WARNING: Do not battle rap with the lion".)
Triple H: Okay, it's good, but it's not great.
Benjamin Mee: How about balloons?
Triple H: Did you say "drama"? (Scene zooms in on him.) That's perfect! People love drama!
Benjamin Mee: I don't think you understand.
(Rey Mysterio pops out of the bushes.)
Rey Mysterio: Did you say you want a bodyslam?
Benjamin Mee: (Pulls out a pitchfork.) NO, I DON'T! I don't want a bodyslam!
Rey Mysterio: Oh, I never realized that bothered you! I'll stop. Use your words, man. Use your words.
- Antagonists: WWE Wrestlers
- Kelly Foster, Duncan Mee and Lily Miska did not appear in this.
- In the Latin American Version, Rey Mysterio spoke Mexican because he was born in Mexico.
- Also in the Latin America Version, John Cena said a bad word "stupid" a zebra, so it was censored.