WWER is a crossover between WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) and ER.

This segment is from MAD Season 1, Episode 14: Pokémon Park / WWER.


The wrestling superstars of WWE know a thing or two about breaking bones, but how are they at mending them?



  • Jerry Squaller
  • Michael Dull
  • Quadruple H
  • Alicia Crox
  • Evil
  • Coffee Blingston
  • Hector Gonzales
  • Lameus
  • Big Schmo
  • Jerk Swagger
  • The Blundertaker
  • Dr. Bronson (Mentioned by Evil)
  • Doctor
  • Patients


(The scene begins at a typical scene in the Operation Room... though the doctor treating the paitent is anything but typical.)

Surgeon: Scalpel. Clamp. Chair. RRRAAH! (Slams the chair on the paitent)

Paitent: (Seeing birds) What kind of hospital is this?

(WWE music plays.)

Jerry Squaller: Strap yourself to a gourney and prepare to be mis-diagnosed, because this is the WWER!

(Title card screen appears. "WWER" is onscreen, then explosion.)

Michael Dull: Now last week in the WWER, we saw Quadruple H give a quadruple-bypass!

(Quadruple H is oblivious to the fact he's sawing on thin air... with the patient down here.)

Paitent 2: Uh, I'm down here!

Jerry Squaller: The feud between Alica Crox and Evil heated up!

Evil: I saw you making out with Dr. Bronson! Keep your meathooks off!

Alica Crox: I'll show you "meathooks"!

(Crox grabs Evil by the hair and snap-slams her a faceful right into the wall, knocking her down. "OH SNAP!" appears.)

Michael Dull: And Coffee Blingston saves another life!

(Coffee give his patient a Boomdrop. Ouch!)

Paitent 3: Ohhhh....

Michael Dull: Boomdrop!

("REVIVED" appears.)

Jerry Squaller: Right now let's check out the action in Room 8476! Patient: Hector Gonzales!

Nurse: You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Gonzales. The doctor performing your appendectomy is a REAL SUPERSTAR!

(ER music plays, and shows Lameus.)

Announcer: Making his way to the ER from Dublin, Ireland. Weighing at 267 pounds, LAMEUS!

Lameus: I'm gonna rip out yer appendix!

Hector Gonzales: Is that covered under my insurance? (Lameus stares at Hector)

Lameus: Anesthesiologist, knock him out.

(On Lameus' command, the anesthesiologist nurse brings her hammer down on Hector... but before the hammer connects, the frame freezes. "ANESTHETIZED" appears.)

Jerry Squaller: Now it's the moment we've all been waiting for. The main event of the night.

("Cage Match" card appears.)

Jerry Squaller: A steel cage operation between old time rivals: the Big Schmo and Jerk Swagger. I don't know about you, but I'm on the edge of my bedpan.

Big Schmo: Jerk Swagger, you don't know the difference between the patriot and a pancake.

Jerk Swagger: Yeah, you couldn't treat a papercut in a bandage factory.

Big Schmo: Yeah, well-- (Big Schmo looks down at a dead patient) Uh oh.

Jerry Squaller: Looks like all that time expand talking smack cost them another patient.

(Bell gongs.)

Michael Dull: What's this? Who could it be?

Jerry Squaller: Oh my goodness! It's the Blundertaker.

Blundertaker: I'm here to take out the trash.

Jerry Squaller: That's the time we have here for tonight on the WWER. Goodnight and Ohhh....

Michael Dull: Boomdrop!