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The Superhero Millionaire Matchmaker

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The Superhero Millionaire Matchmaker is a crossover between superheroes and the Millionare Matchmaker.

This segment is from MAD Season 2, Episode 13 (39): Spy vs. Spy Kids / Abs-duction.

Summary

The Millionaire Matchmaker meets her biggest challenge yet: Iron Man and Batman.

References

MAD References

Characters

Transcript

Patti Stanger: Hi, I'm Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker! Ever hear how I can't find my perfect match? Well, I'm sure I can find yours. So who do we have this week?

Destin Pfaff: Well, I've got a millionaire playboy named Tony Stark who owns a giant robot suit.

Rachel Federoff: I've also got a millionaire playboy named Bruce Wayne who... apparently sleeps a lot.

Patti Stanger: Well, this should be interesting.

(Title card: The Superhero Millionaire Matchmaker)

Patti Stanger: Gentlemen, I've reviewed each of your videos. Iron Man, yours was... short.

(Iron Man's video plays.)

Iron Man: (Laughs) I am awesome!

Patti Stanger: And Batman, yours was... just scenes from your DVD.

(Batman's video plays.)

Batman: I don't have time for shenanigans.

Patti Stanger: Well, we do. This is the Redhead.

Batman: The RED HOOD?!?!

(He throws them across the room.)

Batman: These look like my ears, but my ears are actually way down here. Covered with the cowl.

Redhead: I bet you're OK. 'Cause I have a sensitive heart.

Iron Man: Really? Me too. See?

(He tears his heart out.)

(Redhead faints.)

Iron Man: Too soon?

Batman: There's no time here.

(Batman Family Feud music plays.)

Redhead: I need someone who's faithful. Could you be faithful?

Iron Man: Faithful!? (starts laughing)

(Cuts to Batman)

(Long silence)

Batman: My parents are dead.

(Scene goes back to Iron Man)

Iron Man: Faithful! (Laughs again)

Batman: Well, we do have a-The bat signal!

Patti Stanger: Well, you blew it. You did the exact opposite of everthing I said. And as an award..

(Cut to Iron Man and Batman)

Patti Stanger: YOU didn't get a single phone number, and YOU got robbed. Do you have anything to say for yourself?

(Another long silence)

Batman: My parents are dead.

(Segment ends)

Trivia

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