|The Adventures of TaunTaun|
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This segment is from MAD Season 2, Episode 23 (49): The Adventures of TaunTaun / Everybody Loves Rayman.
The classic comic Tintin gets mistranslated and retold in a galaxy far, far away.
- Jawa and other Mos Eisley citizens
- Boba Fett
- Old Man
- Darth Vader Hologram
- Yoda Hologram
- Anakin Skywalker
- Jango Fett
- Padmé Amidala
- Pit of Carcoon's Sarlacc
- Luke Skywalker
- Han Solo
Announcer: Steven Spielberg translated a popular European comic book into... the Adventures of Tintin: the Secret of the Unicorn. Sadly, MAD used a cheaper translator and misinterpreted it as... The Adventures of TaunTaun!
(Title card: The Adventures of TaunTaun)
(TaunTaun says all of that jibber-jabbering nonsense)
Announcer: You Get What You Pay For. And so our story begins.
(The setting: Tatooine, as alien people of all shapes and size are in a panicked hurry, running everywhere, while the TaunTaun strolls along. The TaunTaun looks at the Imperial Star Destroyer in a bottle and bleats. Enter the Toydarian trader Watto, who was reading a newspaper, now turning his attention to his new customer.)
Watto: This? This is an Imperial Star Destroyer. You like?
Watto: Alright, you caught me. I don't know what the heck you said. That first one was a guess. But you can have it for 2 credits.
(TaunTaun takes the Destroyer-in-a-bottle and pays 2 credits for Watto. TaunTaun bleats, rubbing the bottle, and takes his leave. Just then, Boba Fett and his Stormtrooper escorts enter the scene, stopping TaunTaun.)
Boba Fett: I'll give you 10 credits for that ship.
Watto: Ten? But it's not even a Collector's Edition!
(TaunTaun bleats and high-tails it.)
Boba Fett: (with fist shaking) I will have that ship!
(TaunTaun returns to his room on his icy home planet of Hoth, an ice cube with not enough life to fill a space cruiser as Han Solo describes it, and places the Destroyer-in-a-bottle onto a snow shelf. Just then, the bottle slips and shatters on the ground... revealing a scroll that reads "Secret Plans". TaunTaun takes the paper and "reads" it. Sniffing, TaunTaun realizes too late he was ambushed by a Wampa and is knocked out in one punch.)
(Fade in to an AT-AT squadron, in the onset of the Battle of Hoth. TaunTaun regains consciousness inside Darth Vader's personal AT-AT, gets up and takes a look behind the door window to the cockpit...)
Major General Maximilian: Lord Vader, we have the secret plans. In moments, we will have the Galaxy as well.
(Switch to the cockpit of the AT-AT, with Major General Maximilian Veers contacting Sith Lord Darth Vader via hologram, who is Force choking Admiral Ozzel for failing him for the last time, while two Stormtrooper Pilots drive with their steering wheels. TaunTaun crawls in to get the Destroyer and the plans.)
Darth Vader: OK. Fine. Whatever. [End Transmission]
(Maximilian lowers the targeting periscope - which oddly looks like an eye surgery viewfinder, while TaunTaun crawls in and snatches both the Destroyer and the scroll before he's even noticed. Taking cover, TaunTaun bleats. Just as he crawls out, Luke's lightsaber cuts a hole in the floor, and out pops the head of Luke Skywalker, the pilot who killed the Death Star. TaunTaun bleats in a "who are you?" tone.)
Luke Skywalker: Hi! I'm Luke Skywalker! I'm about to blow this thing, (shows an ignited dynamite) so you might wanna jump out.
(Luke throws the dynamite in, then dives out, followed by TaunTaun bleating in an "uh oh" tone and jumping out of the AT-AT, screaming. TaunTaun lands into the snow, in time to escape the AT-AT going BOOM! - leaving only Maximilian's helmet and the Darth Vader holo.)
Darth Vader: So long, suckers! (Exit stage left)
- Antagonists: Boba Fett, Wampa
- Tintin looked different from My Little War Horse. His shirt was green instead of blue, however, TaunTaun's shirt was blue.
- The reoccurring old man explodes, but it's most likely he'll appear in a later episode.
- Thomson and Thompson made cameos in it.
- This is the 27th segment that the name of a MAD parody is said.
- Only Collector's Edition ships cost 10 credits.