Announcer: Superheroes: They're just like us. They have to wait in boring lines.
Captain Cold: See you in about an hour, Flash.
Announcer: They have to go through metal detectors.
Security Guard: Empty your pockets please.
Iron Man: I don't have pockets!
Announcer: They have to walk their dog.
Superman: You smell the same thing 50 times; don't you have super smell?
Announcer: They get sunburn.
Batman: Uh oh.
Announcer: They get their eyes checked.
Eye Doctor: Remove your glasses and read the bottom line please.
Cyclops: F. No, E!
Announcer: And they have to obey the rules like everyone else.
Billy Batson: Shazam!
Captain Marvel: [chuckles] Rules.
Announcer: Superheroes: They're just like us. They take out the trash.
The Thing: (Throws trash bag so far, it hits the sun and everything's dark.) Uh-Oh!
Announcer: They go to a gym.
Coach: Dude, you left sweat everywhere!
Aquaman: It's not sweat. It's salt water, jerk!
Announcer: They assemble their own furniture.
Thor: (Tries to assemble a table, but breaks it with Mjolnir.) Stupid Swedes! [cries]
Announcer: They buy lottery tickets.
Superman: Two scratch-offs please. (Uses his X-Ray vision.) No, not that one. No, not that one. No, yes, that's the one.
Announcer: And they use the drive-thru.
Drive-Thru Worker: Sir, this line is for vehicles only.
Iron Man: This suit is my vehicle.
Drive-Thru Worker: Sir, you're being unreasonable.
Iron Man: No, you're being unreasonable! (Blasts the menu board.) [cars honk] Okay, relax, relax!
Announcer: Superheroes: They're Just Like Us. They fill their tank up with gas.
Man: Are you crazy?!
Wonder Woman: Relax, it's my invisible jet. Hmmm, or is that it?
Announcer: They go snowboarding.
Captain America: Hey, I'm cool, too. Right?
Iceman: I guess.
Batman: Me, too?
Iceman: Um, no.
Announcer: They go out for ice cream.
(Ice cream melts away from the cone)
Human Torch: Ah, I'm lactose intolerant anyway.
Announcer: They fly.
Flight Attendant: Uh, you both know this is an exit row, right?
Superman: Ugh. You know, I love the extra leg room, but hate the added responsibility.
Announcer: And they go to the beach.
Spider-Man: Look out, it's Sandman!
Spider-Man: Huh, guess that was just a sand sculpture. Uh, nice job, kids.
Announcer: This has been Superheroes: They're Just Like Us.
- All of these characters in the second segment are fatter.
- There are three episodes of MAD that featured Superheroes: They're Just Like Us.
- Season 3 is the only season of MAD without a segment of this.