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Ribbitless

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Ribbitless is a take-off of Limitless and is spoofed with Kermit the Frog from the Muppets.

This segment is from MAD Season 1, Episode 25: Ribbitless / The Clawfice.

Summary

A frog eats a strange butterfly and is transformed into a star.

5-second Cartoon

The segment resumes with Miss Piggy and Kermit. Miss Piggy asks Kermit if he has opening night butterflies and Kermit replies with "A little". So Miss Piggy takes Kermit bags of butterflies (which was on the floor) and begins to eat it.

References

MAD References

Characters

  • Narrator (Kermit in this story)
  • Frogs
  • Kermit the Frog
  • Miss Piggy
  • Fozzie Bear
  • Bradley Cooper
  • Muppet Animals
  • Camilla the Chicken (one of the animals)
  • Sam the Eagle (one of the animals)
  • Statler
  • Waldorf
  • Alfred E.Neuman

Transcript

(Segment begins at the world in space)

Narrator: What if you could access all your brain, (The Scene slowly goes into world from city into a park) be the best you you could be? Well, that's what happened to me. I'm that guy in the park.

(Scene goes to a man sitting on a bench)

Narrator: No, no, not that guy. That guy.

(Scene goes to frogs - one of which isn't feeling 100%, what with the X's for eyes and all)

Frogs: (Ribbit)

Narrator: I'm sure all frogs look alike to you, but trust me, I don't look good...

Frog: (Ribbit)

Other Frog: (Ribbit)

Frog that looks dead: (Blows bubble with mouth full of water)

Narrator: ... until one day when, (Scene goes to frogs eating flies) instead of snacking on flies, I accidentally ate a butterfly.

(The Kermit-to-be snaps his tounge on the butterfly, and the moment he gulps it down... things were about to change.)

(Scene goes to the almost dead frog brain, where it shows the DNA and him transforming into the Kermit we know and love today.)

Narrator: Not only did I become smarter, but I was taller, leaner, and I could talk.

(Scene goes to the almost dead frog transforming into Kermit)

Kermit the Frog: (With waving his hands around) Hey-oh!

(Record scratches and Kermit blocks his mouth)

Narrator: Even if I did sound different than I thought I would.

(Scene goes to the title card "Ribbitless")

(Scene resumes to Kermit with a banjo)

Narrator: I taught myself how to play the banjo overnight and even wrote a really great song about a rainbow.

(Scene goes to Store and Kermit holding two songs... realizing there are many rainbow-themed songs before him.)

Narrator: Turns out I wasn't the first.

Kermit the Frog: Ohh! Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

(Scene goes to Kermit walking with signs appearing and disappearing)

Narrator: I needed to get out, find out more about the world I was living in. And guess what: turns out it's awesome.

(Kermit stops at a door open (because a guy holding it) leading to a Nightclub and goes in)

Kermit the Frog: ♫ (Dancing) If you like it, then you should have put some green on it (Slaps butt for the three ohs) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. ♫

(Kermit starts to dance the same moves again)

Narrator: I was alive. I was special. Surely, there was no other creature out there that could do the things that I--

(Kermit stops dancing)

(Scene goes to Miss Piggy dancing the same moves as Kermit)

Narrator: Uhh... She was a vision. Her hair like silk.

(Scene goes to Kermit amazed with hearts as eyes and sweating)

Narrator: And if I know anything about women, probably had a voice to match.

(Kermit runs to Miss Piggy)

Miss Piggy: (In a Shrill voice) What's up, frog?

(The windows shatter from Miss Piggy's horrid voice and people take cover)

People: (While Ducking) Ahh!

Miss Piggy: I'm Miss Piggy.

Narrator: (Kermit shrugs shoulders) This voice thing still takes me by surprise.

Kermit the Frog: I'm Kermit. Hey, you didn't accidentally eat a...

(Bell rings)

Miss Piggy and Kermit: Butterfly?

Kermit the Frog: Yeah, I knew it! Me, too! Then I taught myself how to ride a bicycle in a day.

Miss Piggy: I taught myself karate in a hour. See? Hyah!

(Miss Piggy hits Kermit causing him to fly)

(Scene goes to Fozzie Bear on stage)

Fozzie Bear: Ahhh. So the tiger said, "If he's got my blood, does that mean my fur has his sheen?"

(Drums beat)

Fozzie Bear: Wocka-wocka!

(Kermit flys past the brick wall and lands in Fozzie's mouth. Also crowd laughs)

(Fozzie takes Kermit out of his mouth)

Fozzie Bear: Oh, thank goodness. I'm dying here.

Narrator: Whoever he was, he was right. Whatever was making us talk probably wouldn't last forever. I'd to make my mark while I still had the chance.

(Miss Piggy appears at wall Kermit flew through)

Miss PIggy: Kermie, are you OK?

Kermit the Frog: Miss Piggy, I need your help.

Miss Piggy: Oh, moi?

Kermit the Frog: I want to... audition for "American Idol."

(Record scratches)

Fozzie Bear: Not the direction I thought this was headed.

(Scene goes to a camera figure and in an apartment)

(Fozzie cleans camera)

Kermit the Frog: Hope you don't mind us using your apartment, Fozzie.

Fozzie Bear: As long as you don't mind that it's a five-floor whaka whalk-up!

(Drums beat)

Miss Piggy: Are you sure you ate a butterfly?

Fozzie Bear: Maybe it was a moth.

(Fozzie and Miss Piggy walk away and camera scene goes to Kermit)

Fozzie Bear: 'K, "American Idol" audition, take one!

Kermit the Frog: (Dancing) ♫ If you like it, then you should have put some green on it. ♫

(Kermit continues to do his dance from before only Narrator talks over him.)

Narrator: This was it. I was on my way. One look at this tape, and they were gonna...

(Scene goes to Kermit reading a paper)

Kermit the Frog: Turn me down?!

Miss Piggy: What? How come?

Fozzie Bear: (Takes paper from Kermit) Says here they don't allow animals.

Miss Piggy: How low can they go?

Fozzie Bear: About J-Low.

(Drums beat)

Fozzie Bear: Ahh!

Kermit the Frog: Forget it. We don't need them. We are super-intelligent creatures. And we'll gather all the other super-intelligent creatures and make a talent show that's even better than theirs.

(Scene goes to a curtain then a title card saying "The Muppet Show")

Kermit the Frog: It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Bradley Cooper!

Bradley Cooper: (Gives a wave kiss)

Kermit the Frog: Yay!

(Curtains open to reveal animals dancing)

Animal Muppet Group 1: ♫ We don't need Ryan Seacrest, that show is past its prime, it's time to leave the airways or the judges lose their minds ♫

(One animal holds picture of judge)

Animal Muppet Group 2: ♫ We all can sing and dance now, we've become super smart, our voices still sound goofy, but at least it is a start ♫

(Boing)

(Scene goes to Statler and Waldorf on top of stage)

Waldorf: Hmm. I guess this makes me Steven Tyler.

Statler: Really? It makes me sick to the stomach!

(Both men laugh)

(Alfred plays a single note and segment ends)

5-second Cartoon

Miss Piggy: Kermie, do you have opening night butterflies?

Kermit the Frog: A little.

Miss Piggy: GIVE ME SOME!

(Miss Piggy takes bag of butterflies and begins to eat it.)

Trivia

  • The orange eagle was supposed to be Sam the Eagle.
  • The three song titles at the store were "Jazz" "Rainbow" and "Reggae".
  • The signs that were shown while Kermit was walking were "Green Day in Concert", "Frog's Neck Bridge" and "Cars Toad 3-7 PM".
  • Kermit the Frog did his dance from Cliffordfield two times. (One being in the Nightclub and later for the American Idol audition.)
    • However, Kermit the Frog looked different in the American Idol audition here than in the Cliffordfield edition. Basically he looked dark green here and light green in Cliffordfield.
  • The stage that Fozzie Bear was standing on was called "Bearolines".
  • Innuendo: In Latin America, Kermit thinks that Miss Piggy had a sensual voice.
  • The title card said "El Muppet Show." However, Kermit the Frog said it was "the Muppet Show".
  • In the 5-second Cartoon, Miss Piggy asked Kermit if he had butterflies in his stomach and he says he does and pulls out a bag of butterflies. This talk can also represent the quote "I have Butterflies in my stomach" because Kermit looked a little frightened.
  • When Alfred played a bum note on the sax, he was similar to Zoot from the Muppet Show.
  • Antagonists: American Idol People and Miss Piggy (5-second Cartoon only)
  • This marks the 2nd time to feature Kermit's American Idol test tape since Cliffordfield.

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