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Pirates of the Pair of Tweens is a take-off of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

This segment is from MAD Season 2, Episode 4 (30): Pirates of the Pair of Tweens / Konan the Kardashian.

Summary

When the fountain of youth works too well, Jack Sparrow is stuck babysitting a couple of tweens.

References

MAD References

Characters

  • Captain Jack Sparrow
  • Angelica
  • Edward "Blackbeard" Teach
  • Young Blackbeard
  • Young Angelica
  • Crocodile
  • Plankton
  • Willy Wonka
  • Alfa-Loompas

Transcript

(Scene begins with shadows of Blackbeard, Jack Sparrow, and Angelica finding the Fountain of Youth in the jungle)

Blackbeard: At last, we have found the Fountain of Youth!

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow, Angelica and Blackbeard's faces)

Jack Sparrow: Which, I may add, (Scene backs out to show Fountain of Youth) is not nearly impressive as the fountain at the mall.

(Scene goes to the Keel Mall's big fountain and people around it.)

(Scene goes to Angelica holding a bucket and standing close to the Fountain of Youth)

Angelica: Quickly, let us drink it so we can live forever.

(Scene backs out to Blackbeard)

Blackbeard: Now, let me just grab a bendy straw, and we drink!

(Angelica and Blackbeard drink the Fountain of Youth. The water works... only to turn into smaller and younger kids in their tweens, surprising Jack Sparrow)

Young Blackbeard: What the--? I wanted to live forever, not have to live through puberty again!

Young Angelica: You said this would work!

Young Blackbeard: Did not!

Young Angelica: Did too!

Young Blackbeard: Did not!

Young Angelica: Did too!

Young Blackbeard: Did not!

(Scene backs to Jack Sparrow who is talking while Angelica and Blackbeard argue)

Jack Sparrow: Great. Now I'm a babysitter.

(Title card: "Pirates of the Pair of Tweens" with an Alfred E. Neuman skeleton head behind with crossed bones)

(Scene goes back to the ship with Jack Sparrow and Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica standing outside of it)

Jack Sparrow: Alright, (Scene zooms in on Jack Sparrow) everybody, get back on the ship! (Scene goes to Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica)

Young Blackbeard: We can't! (Scene backs out to show a sign saying how tall you need to be to ride the "Pirates of the Caribbean") We're not tall enough!

Jack Sparrow: Get on the ship, or you'll both be keelhauled!

(Scene zooms in on Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica)

Young Angelica: Ooh! I always wanted to go to the Keel Mall.

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow, confused. This is going to be a long day for him...)

Jack Sparrow: Wait, what?

(Scene goes to The Keel Mall with Young Angelica and Young Blackbeard laughing while they run and grab Jack Sparrow around, scene goes to Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica playing in the ball pool while Jack Sparrow sits unhappily, scene goes to Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica trying on new clothes and forcing Jack Sparrow to buy them with his credit card and causing the register to ding, scene goes to an unhappy Jack Sparrow watching Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica play cannon tag. Young Angelica accidentally hits Jack Sparrow with a cannonball. Also, laughter and indistinct shouting can be heard)

(Scene goes to an exhausted Jack Sparrow sitting on a bench with shopping bags)

Jack Sparrow: Ugh. Are my salty dogs barking?

(Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica walk towards Jack Sparrow)

Young Blackbeard: I'm bored.

Jack Sparrow: Well, then, why don't you do us both a favor and walk the plank?

Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica: (Gasp) (Scene zooms in on them) Planking? That's a great idea!

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: Wait, what?

(Scene goes to Young Blackbeard planking on the first line of the ship's fort mast, Young Angelica on the second and Jack Sparrow on top with no lines but just a circle hold)

Jack Sparrow: Ow.

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow planking on a crocodile while he growls)

Jack Sparrow: Ow.

(Scene goes to Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica and Jack Sparrow planking on the outside of a treasure chest)

Jack Sparrow: (Groans)

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow planking on top of a restaurant called "The Crabby Crust", a parody of "The Krusty Krab". with Plankton on top of him)

(Scene zooms in on Plankton)

Plankton: I am king of this! (He says that because plank is part of his name.)

(Plankton plops down and scene goes to an exhausted Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: Oh, hi, diddly dee, (Jack Sparrow lays down on the bench) a pillow and slippers for me.

(Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica walk up to Jack Sparrow)

Young Angelica: Can we go to the movies?

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: (Groans) I just want to-- is rest a thing? Can I say "rest" (Scene backs out) and just have it mean what I think it means?

(Scene goes to Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica)

Young Angelica: Whatever. (They start to walk away) See you later, Captain Jack Lame-O.

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: Ugh. I never knew that chaperoning two kids could be (Scene zooms in on him) so much work.

(Scene backs out to show Willy Wonka)

Willy Wonka: Try chaperoning five.

(Jack Sparrow gets up)

Jack Sparrow: I beg your pardon?

(Scene zooms in on Willy Wonka)

Willy Wonka: I said, try looking after 5 kids. 10 bucks says you'll lose at least half of them.

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: These must be those "stranger tides" they spoke of.

(Scene backs out to show Willy Wonka standing up)

Willy Wonka: Willy Wonka, at your service. (Scene zooms in on Willy Wonka and background turns into candy falling in front of a hypnotist) I make tons of candy to meet (Willy Wonka shows a gummy drop) your purpose, a gummy drop that makes you pop (Gummy drop pops and Willy Wonka holds a drink), a fizzy drink that makes your farts not stink. (Flatulence is heard and scene goes to Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: Hmm. You wouldn't happen to have something that... restores you to your proper age, do you?

(Scene goes to Willy Wonka)

Willy Wonka: Why, I believe I have just the thing.

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow smiling and holding two pink ice creams.)

Jack Sparrow: Hey, kids. (Scene backs out to show Willy Wonka, Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica standing together) Want a special treat?

(Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica take the ice cream)

Young Blackbeard: Thanks.

Young Angelica: Sure!

(Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica eat the ice cream and turn blue and float up)

Young Blackbeard: What the--?!

Young Angelica: What's happening to us?!

(POP goes the Weasel! Young Angelica and Young Blackbeard blow up and leave blue goo around)

(Scene zooms in on Jack Sparrow and Willy Wonka)

Jack Sparrow: I thought you said it would restore them to their proper age.

Willy Wonka: Eh, they get it wrong from time to time.

Jack Sparrow: The Oompa-Loompas?

Willy Wonka: No. I replaced them with something cheaper months ago.

(Scene goes to purple Alfa-Loompas dancing in the Chocolate factory)

Alfa-Loompas: Alfa-alfa, dippity-doo.

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow and Willy Wonka)

Jack Sparrow: Eh, I’m just happy to have the night off.

(Jack Sparrow and Willy Wonka high-five and segment ends)

Trivia

  • There were two fountains in the segment, one was the Fountain of Youth and the other was at the Keel Mall.
  • The people look similar to the ones in Super 80's.
  • This segment is similar to Avaturd, Bieber Bowl, TransBOREmores, 2012 Dalmatians, Star Blecch, WALL·E·NATOR, I Love You, Iron Man, Class of the Titans, S'UP, So You Think You Can Train Your Dragon How to Dance, The Straight A-Team, The Buzz Identity, HOPS, Ko-Bee Movie, The Social Netjerk, ArTHOR, Force Code, RiOa, Thomas the Unstoppable Tank Engine, and Super 80's.
  • In total, Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica argued "Did not" and "Did too" 10, count 'em 10 times.
  • The title of this segment almost seems similar to the one of Pirates of the Neverland: At Wit's End.
  • After Young Blackbeard said they were not tall enough to ride, there was a sign with a pirate with a bird on its shoulder that said "You must be this tall to ride".
  • Above the Ball pool area there was a logo similar to McDonald's and said "Golden Aarrrches".
  • Captain Jack Sparrow had to buy from three different (or more) outfits for Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica.
  • Cannon Tag may be similar to Laser Tag
  • The four different things Captain Jack Sparrow, Young Blackbeard, and Young Angelica planked on were:
    1. On the Ship's fort mast lines
    2. On a Crocodile's back
    3. On a Treasure Chest
    4. On top of "The Crabby Crust" (Plankton was on top of Jack Sparrow)
  • In the background of Captain Jack Sparrow sitting on the bench, there was a store that said "New York, Paris, London."
  • After Captain Jack Sparrow layed down on the bench and the camera zoomed in on him, there was a bit of Willy Wonka's clothing before he said anything.
  • The drink that Willy Wonka holds said "Clean-air Cola"
  • The store in the background when Jack Sparrow gave Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica ice cream said "Pinkbooty" which is a parody of Pinkberry.
  • The Crabby Crust is parody of the Krusty Krab from SpongeBob SquarePants.
  • The title card for Pirates of the Pair of Tweens is similar to Disney's Pair of Kings.
  • When the kids bloated from eating ice cream, it was similar to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. When Violet bloated so much that she was helpless as a beach ball for eating Unstable the-Course-Meal Gum, the dwarfish teenagers just exploded.
  • Antagonist: Willy Wonka
  • Johnny Depp portrayed both Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean film series and Willy Wonka in the 2005 film adaption of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
  • Alfred E. Neuman appeared as a Skeleton (title) and the Alfa-Loompas.

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