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Pirates of the Neverland: At Wit's End

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Pirates of the Neverland: At Wit's End is a take-off of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and is spoofed with Disney's Peter Pan.

This segment is from MAD Season 1, Episode 6: Pirates of the Neverland: At Wit's End / Batman Family Feud.

Summary

Jack Sparrow teams up with Captain Hook to defeat Peter Pan.

References

Characters

Transcript

(Scene begins in space. Littered with Spacenook Aliens and an Alfred E. Neuman moon.)

Pirate: Captain, considering the ship's currently, uh, floating in space, there's concern we may be lost.

Jack Sparrow: Lost? Of course not. Our bearings: Second star to the left, straight on 'til morning?

Pirate: Captain, we're approaching some sort of land beyond imagination!

(They arrive at Neverland.)

Captain Hook: Jack Sparrow? Is that really you? It's been forever!

Jack Sparrow: My old friend, "Captain 2-Hands".

Captain Hook: Wow, we do need to catch up!

(Title card: Pirates of the Neverland: At Wit's End)

Jack Sparrow: Wait, you spent all this time fighting a kid in green tights?

Captain Hook: But there's a crocodile, too! He makes the most horrible sound whenever he's here: "Tik Tok".

Jack Sparrow: Like a clock?

Captain Hook: No, that annoying Ke$ha song!

Tick-Tock Crocodile: (To the tune of "Tik Tok")

(Scene goes to the ship. Again.)

Jack Sparrow: Point is, mate: Pirates are heroes now, you're allowed to win.

(Scene goes to Peter Pan and the Lost Boys at a flag saying "Captain Smellyface")

Peter Pan: Hey, Hook! Look at your flag! That's you! You look like that!

Captian Hook: Will you help me?

Jack Sparrow: I'll do better than that. I'll give you a makeover!

(Title card: Extreme Renovation: Pirate Edition)

Jack Sparrow: Hmmm, more swaying, less frills, move your facial hair, some dreadlocks, bring out your eyes, and finally, dirt.

(Hook coughs)

Jack Sparrow: What do you think?

(Cut to Randy Jackson, Ellen DeGeneres, and Tyra Banks at the judges table labeled "Project Pirate".)

Tyra Banks: Captain Hook, you are the world's next top pirate!

Captain Hook: Yes! Woo Hoo!

(Sparrow and Hook high five, Hook stabs Sparrow's hand with his hook hand.)

Both: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(Scene cuts to Hurley stranded on a tropical island wearing an "I'M LOST" tee.)

(Then, Hook fights the Lost Boys)

Captain Hook: I feel great, like I could take on the whole world!

Peter Pan: Woohoo! Nice guyliner, Hook. Got a hot date?

Captain Hook: Oh, I'LL GET YOU, PETER--

Jack Sparrow: Ahem!

Peter Pan: Please! Pirates may be cool now, but staying a kid will always be cooler! Right, Eddie?

(Cuts to Edward Cullen on the mast)

Edward Cullen: I'm moody.

Peter Pan: Little girls eat that up.

Jack Sparrow: (Still fighting the Lost Boys) Hey, Hook, know what I'm gonna do later? Drive a car.

Captain Hook: (Still fighting the Lost Boys) Really? I was planning on voting.

Peter Pan: HEY, NOT FAIR!

Jack Sparrow: Of course, we can always just go to an R-rated movie.

Peter Pan: STOP IT!! (Flies down, but gets caught in the shipmast)

(Later, Peter Pan and the Lost Boys have been captured!)

Jack Sparrow: Now, finally, the treasure of Neverland will be ours!

Captain Hook: Uh, Peter Pan doesn't actually have any treasure.

Jack Sparrow: You've been chasing this brat for years and he's BROKE??

Captain Hook: Yes, but he cut off my hand!

Jack Sparrow: Big deal. Tell that to ROY.

(Cuts to Roy, with a peg-body)

Roy: I think I got a splinter in my neck.

Captian Hook: Look at it this way: At least we have each other, Ja-- Jack?

Jack Sparrow: (Back on his ship) Sorry, captain, but there are OTHER pirates out there who need my help. Ain't that right, Cap'n Munch?

(Cuts to Cap'n Munch, with a bowl of SQUID!)

Cap'n Munch: I don't think a squid is part of a complete breakfast!

Jack Sparrow: But it stays soggy in milk.

(Cap'n Munch leans over and barfs, ending the segment)

Trivia

  • The Crocodile sounds nothing like Ke$ha's "Tik Tok." And it's a good thing, 'cause Ke$ha is a pain to listen to.
  • Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" is also on Just Dance 2.
  • The MAD Season 1 DVD says, "Pirates of the Carribean 4: Journey to Neverland," but that is the wrong title.
  • Protagonists: Captain Hook and Captain Jack Sparrow
  • Antagonists: Peter Pan and his goons
  • This is the first time that Twilight was parodied, and then made a huge phenomenon on MAD.
  • If you look closely on the ship, you can see Popeye and Bluto! (Bluto was trying to beat up Popeye.)
  • This is the second time MAD spoofed Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
  • The segment had two title cards: "Pirates of the Neverland: At Wit's End" and "Extreme Renovation: Pirate Edition".
  • Tinker Bell is not seen in this spoof. WHAT A WASTE OF PETER PAN!
  • Pirates can't drive cars, vote, or go to R-rated movies in reality.
  • If you look closely, you could see the Survivor logo.
  • Gilligan from the TV series Gilligan's Island appears as one of Jack Sparrow's crew members.
  • Daffy Duck appears on Captain Hook's ship wearing Donald Duck's cloths.
  • The moon with A. E. Newman's face with the rocket in his eye is a reference to the 1902 iconic french silent film A Trip to the Moon.

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