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Law & Ogre

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Law & Ogre is a take-off of Law & Order and is spoofed with Shrek.

This segment is from MAD Season 1, Episode 20: Ko-Bee Movie / Law & Ogre.

Summary

Shrek and Donkey take the law into their own hands.

References

Characters

  • Kevin Bernard
  • Cyrus Lupo
  • Papa Bear
  • Shrek
  • Donkey
  • Announcer
  • Goldilocks
  • Big Bad Wolf
  • Grumpy Bear
  • Princess Fiona
  • Puss in Boots
  • Chicago Bears
  • Yogi Bear

Transcript

(Scene begins at an apartment building, police tapes wrapped on the door. Inside, Kevin Bernard takes off the sheet to reveal... a recently dead bear?)

Kevin Bernard: Victim seems to be one of the Three Bears.

Cyrus Lupo: Which one?

Kevin Bernard: I don't know. (Covers the dead bear back) The furry one! They're bears, for crying out loud! Bigger question is: what's he doin' livin' in New York City?

Cyrus Lupo: Well, LA's too glitzy, Chicago's too cold, but New York is juu--

Kevin Bernard: Okay, I get it! Better start dusting for prints.

(One slam of the door and a camera swipe later... enter Shrek and Donkey.)

Shrek: Not so fast! I believe fairy tale characters are our jurisdiction. (Donkey appears)

Cyrus Lupo: According to who? (Unholsters and aims sidearm)

Shrek: According to Rumpelstiltskin, (Holds up and opens a contract scroll with Rumplestiltskin, "The Rump" on it) who said I could have the life I always wanted.

Kevin Bernard: And you chose to be a New York detective?

Donkey: Trust me, I begged him to be a Gilmore girl.

(Scene goes black)

Announcer: In the criminal justice system, the people are protected by attorneys. The cartoon characters, however... well, let's face it: we just like this title.

(Title card: Law and Ogre)

Donkey: Hee-Haw!

(GOLDILOCKS' APARTMENT

UPPER LOWER EASTERN WEST SIDE)

Shrek: All right, Goldilocks, when was the last time you saw Papa Bear?

Goldilocks: Not since he had me arrested for breaking into his house. And who knew bears had lawyers? Seriously, he's a bear.

Shrek: Well, he's also dead!

Goldilocks: What? Does that mean his apartment's for rent?

Shrek: Do you know anyone who'd want to hurt Papa Bear?

Goldilocks: Probably another bear, I guess. Hey, uh, you're not gonna tell anyone else about that apartment, are you?

Shrek: Are you getting all this?

Donkey: No, but check this out.

(Scene goes to Donkey's drawing of another donkey riding a skateboard down a rail, however he "Fails")

(Donkey says "Hee-Haw!" and scene suddenly goes black)

(Big Bad Wolfgangbucks

222 Easy Street St.

Tuesday, September 31)

(Scene resumes at Wolfgang Bucks)

Big Bad Wolf: Grumpy Bear? Yeah, he works in the kitchen. Blue bear, shoots rain out of his gut.

Shrek: Notice anything strange about him?

Big Bad Wolf: Other than he's a blue bear who shoots rain out of his gut? Not really, no.

Shrek: Well, he's wanted, in connection with the murder of Papa Bear.

Big Bad Wolf: Papa Bear's been murdered?! Hmm, that means his apartment's available?

Donkey: Shrek, look!

Shrek: (off-screen) Grumpy Bear!

Grumpy Bear: Care Bear-Stare!

(Grumpy shows his belly, which releases a sonic wave.)

Shrek: Gah!

(Grumpy runs away)

Donkey: What are you doing?

Shrek: Going deep.

(Shrek throws Donkey)

Donkey: Aah!

(Grumpy is seen running)

Donkey: Ooh, Mamma Mia's still playing! (Note to reader: They didn't make this sketch in '08.)

(Grumpy is seen running again)

Donkey: I smell pretzels!

(Donkey catches Grumpy and lands in trash can)

Shrek: That was a Slam Donkey!

(Donkey says "Hee-Haw!" and scene suddenly goes black)

(BAD JOKE!)

(Scene resumes to Shrek)

Shrek: And as soon as he saw us, he took off running.

Princess Fiona: No further questions, your honor.

Grumpy Bear: I object. This court is stacked against me!

(Gavel sounds)

Puss in Boots: What are you talking about?

Grumpy Bear: The prosecutor is his wife, you're one of his friends, and that is definitely not a jury of my peers!

Chicago Bears Player: You're going down!

Chicago Bears: Rah!

Puss in Boots: How does the jury find the defendant?

(Grumpy catches a football and the Chicago Bears tackle him.)

Chicago Bears: Raah!

Puss in Boots: Sounds like guilty to me. Case closed.

(Donkey says "Hee-Haw!" and scene suddenly goes black)

(Is This Over Yet?)

(Scene resumes to Donkey)

Donkey: Shrek, call on line one.

Shrek: (Picks up) Shrek.

Yogi Bear: Grumpy was right, Shrek. You got the wrong bear.

Shrek: Who is this?

Yogi Bear: Hee hee hee hee! I'd love to talk more, but I must go. I'm having a friend for a pic-a-nic.

Shrek: I'll find ya.

Yogi Bear: Ho ho! I don't think so. I'm smarter than the average bear.

(Scene backs up)

Yogi Bear: D'oh! That probably gave it away.

(Yogi Bear hangs up phone and walks to Jellystone Park... probably with Papa Bear in his basket.)

(Donkey appears)

Donkey: Hey, look! I drew the credits!

(Scene goes to Donkey's credits and segment officially ends.)

Trivia

  • Cyrus said a Goldilocks and the three bears joke when Kevin asked him why Papa Bear is here.
  • Shrek's poster had Rumpelstiltskin with words "The rump" and a arrow pointing to his butt which says 100% BEEF.
  • There were four "Hee-Haw!"s all together.
  • There were four subtitles all together.
  • There is a set by Fisher-Price that is based on this segment, which was released November 2011.
  • Shrek's choices were either to be a New York detective or a Gilmore Girl.
  • If you look closely at the employees behind the Big Bad Wolf, you can see SpongeBob SquarePants and Homer Simpson as two of the employees.
  • One of the food at the Wolfgang Bucks was a pig.
  • Second time Alfred E. Neuman appeared as the Statue of Liberty. First was Cliffordfield.
  • Shrek's joke of Slam Donkey could mean Slam Dunk.
  • The crowd behind Grumpy Bear in the court were:
    1. Hammershark
    2. Monkey
    3. Giraffe
    4. Dragon
    5. Owl
  • Shrek's cup said Ogre Test 97.
  • In the Law & Order title, the word "Order" was surrounded by a red outline, while the word "Ogre" was surrounded by a green outline.
  • 6th time SpongeBob gets spoofed, the first was WALL·E·NATOR, Cliffordfield, Who Wore it Better?, Celebrities Without Their Makeup, Celebrity Birthdays and now Law & Ogre.
  • When Yogi Bear walks away to Jellystone Park, there was a spoof on the "Jellystone Park" sign. Instead of saying "Jellystone", it said "Bellystone."
  • If the camera zooms up on Grumpy Bear in court, Geoffrey the Giraffe can be seen behind him.
  • The Real Antagonist: Yogi Bear
  • The Fake Antagonist: Grumpy Bear
  • The four subtitles during the "Hee-Haw!"s were:
    1. Goldilocks' Apartment Upper Lower Eastern West Side
    2. Big Bad Wolfgang Bucks 222 Easy Street St. Tuseday, September 31
    3. BAD JOKE!
    4. Is This Over Yet?

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