Jacks the Giant Slayers

Jacks the Giant Slayers
From Season	4
From Episode	88
This is a	Movie Segment
Aired along with	The Most Beautiful Voice
MAD Parody Number	175

Jacks the Giant Slayers is a take-off of Jack the Giant Slayer.

This segment is from MAD Season 4, Episode 10 (88): Jacks the Giant Slayers / The Most Beautiful Voice.

Summary

Sir Elmont recruits the other Jacks in Jacks the Giant Slayers

When the famous Jack gets crushed by giants, the kingdom has to call in whatever other Jacks are left.

References

• DreamWorks' Rise of the Guardians
• Pirates of the Caribbean
• Tim Burton's the Nightmare Before Christmas
• the Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack
• School of Rock
• Betty White's Off Their Rockers

Characters

• Jack
• Sir Elmont
• Captain Jack Sparrow
• Jack Skellington
• Jack Black
• Jack White
• Jack Frost
• Flapjack
• Fallon the Two-Headed Giant
• Fee the Giant
• Fye the Giant
• Foe the Giant
• Fumm the Giant

Transcript

(Scene begins in the kingdom)

Sir Elmont: Jack, it's up to you to climb this beanstalk and defeat the giants and save us all.

Jack: Can do.

(He climbs to the beanstalk and hustles to the land of giants while he's swinging his sword.)

Jack: Oh-ho-ho. Giant, as in "large". I---I---I meant in popular and an even point. Oh-ho-ho-ho! (The giants growled at Jack while he pointing his sword up high, then he sees a shadow of a fist.) That's a big fist you got there! Why are you raising it up like that? Why are you now spinning around like a windmill? Why are you bringing it down like---

(Jack got crushed by a giant's fist)

Sir Elmont: Man, this is great! Jack is up there beating giants.

(Jack fell down from the sky and got beaten by giants.)

Sir Elmont: Jack? Jack? Well, it looks like we are gonna need help with this.

(At a meeting)

Sir Elmont: So, from what I can gather, only people named Jack can defeat giants so that's why I've called all of you: Captain Jack Sparrow, the pirate, Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King, Jack Black, the actor who thinks he's a rockstar, Jack White, the rockstar who thinks he's an actor, Jack Frost, from Rise of the Guardians, and Flapjack, who once had a TV show on Cartoon Network, but probably won't be seen again after this scene. Alright, any questions?

Jack Black: (raises his hand) Yeah,.. (cuts to the meeting of Jacks. One of which, Flapjack, as already left the group, and has left his hat behind) ..how’d you get our numbers?

[Title card: Jacks the Giant Slayer]

Sir Elmont: (shows the Jack’s a crudely drawn diagram of a giant with a small stick figure at the bottom) So, the giants’ weak spot is their eyes, but that’s way way up there. So, let’s not waste our time with that. The best you guys are gonna be able to do is untie their shoelaces and hope they trip.

Jack Frost: Uh, isn’t that a terrible plan?

Sir Elmont: Woah, woah, woah, woah! Look at this guy! All of a sudden, Mr. Rise of the Guardians knows when something’s terrible. (All the Jack’s, except Jack Frost, start laughing.)

Jack Frost: Guys, why are you laughing? We’re all gonna die now (They all stop laughing.)

Sir Elmont: Let’s go! (Blows his whistle, as all the Jack’s try to untie the laces of a giant shoe. Captain Jack Sparrow gets tangled up in the laces. The laces then start to untie as Jack Sparrow, Jack Skellington, and Jack Black fell down and the lace starts to give Jack White’s hands rope burn, and he runs around and screams in pain. Sir Elmont blows his whistle again.)

Jack Skellington: We did it!

Sir Elmont: Yes, you’ve untied a giant shoe, and with only minimal casualties.

Jack Frost: (Got crushed by the giant shoe) Help.

Sir Elmont: We lost a good one today, men.

Jack Frost: I’m.. still alive.

Jack White: Hey, I think that dude is still alive.

Sir Elmont: No, he’s dead.

Jack Frost: (offscreen) Help.

Jack White: But…

Sir Elmont: (sternly) Jack Frost is DEAD.

Jack White: Yes, sir.

(Screen transition, the beanstalks grow from up the clouds, and onto the ground.)

Sir Elmont: Alright, Jack’s! This is what we’ve trained for!

Jack Black: Wait, you mean that shoe thing?

Jack Skellington: I thought this was a prank, and we were shooting an episode of Off Their Rockers.

Sir Elmont: Wow, we do not have time to get into this right now. (The giants fall from the sky, and land in front of the Jack’s)

Sir Elmont: Foward, Jack’s! Untie their…! Oh, uh… (Camera pan reveal that the giants don’t wear shoes.) No shoes. (Fumm the Giant roars and grabs him, then shoves him up his nose and snot-rockets Sir Elmont off and onto the castle. Fee uses Jack Skellington to scrape junk of his toenails, then crushes the skeleton into bones. Fallon the Two-Headed Giant and Foe bounce Jack Black up and down like a hacky sack, and he lands into a giant hot dog bun where Fye is ready to eat Jack Black alive. Fallon then uses Captain Jack Sparrow and Jack White in a game of “Jacks”. Both Jack’s get tangled up and Fallon smashes them with his fist. Cuts to Sir Elmont wiping the snot off himself, then all the giants loom over him.)

Fallon the Two-Headed Giant: Looks like there’s one human left. Let’s get him!

Sir Elmont: Wait, wait, wait! You’ve just smushed the world’s most famous Jack’s!

Fallon the Two-Headed Giant: Yeah, what of it?

Sir Elmont: Well, that means someone will need to replace them. And I think I know just the right giants. (Fallon thinks for a moment and a cash register sound his heard. Camera shows posters for Giants of the Caribbean (with Foe replacing Captain Jack Sparrow), The Giant Nightmare Before Christmas (with Fye replacing Jack Skellington), School of Giants (with Fee replacing Jack Black as Dewey Finn), and Rise of the Guardians II (where Jack Frost is seen still underneath the giant shoe)

Jack Frost: Forget the movie, someone get this shoe off of me!

5-Second Cartoon

Jack Frost: (Still under the shoe) Seriously, no one's gonna help me?

Trivia

• This is the first time Jack the Giant Slayer and the Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack showed up.
• This is the second time DreamWorks' Rise of the Guardians and Tim Burton's the Nightmare Before Christmas appeared.
• This is the third time Cartoon Network was mentioned.
• When Jack got crushed by giants, here are the other Jacks that were left:
  1. Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean (He got tangled up with Jack White.)
  2. Jack Skellington from Tim Burton's the Nightmare Before Christmas (He was broken up into bones.)
  3. Jack Black, the actor who thinks he is a rock star (He was stuck in a bun.)
  4. Jack White, the rock star who thinks he is an actor (He got tangled with Captain Jack Sparrow.)
  5. Jack Frost from DreamWorks' Rise of the Guardians (He got crushed by a giant shoe.)
  6. Flapjack from the Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, which was cancelled on Cartoon Network on August 30, 2010 and was never seen again (He disappears before the title card.)
• Movie parodies were found at the end of the episode, such as Giants of the Caribbean, The Giant Nightmare Before Christmas, School of Giants and Rise of the Guardians II.
• Probably say that the Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack it was a show of cartoon network that nobody wants to see again, and Flapjack disappears before the title card, It was a reflection to some criticism on his show, considering it as one of the less popular shows on Cartoon Network.
  • Although this sketch had been made after Uncle Grandpa, Flapjack possibly have had a chance.