Star Wars: the Groan Wars

Star Wars: The Groan Wars is a take-off of Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

This segment is from MAD Season 1, Episode 2: TransBOREmores / Star Wars: The Groan Wars.

Summary[]

The Galactic Republic tries to stop the evil Count Poo-Poo.

References[]

Characters[]

Pinocchio (Master Occhio)
Narrator (not in story)
Count Dooku (Count Poo Poo)
Geppetto
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Spot
Checkers
Battle Droids (Fancy CGI in the opening sequence)
Spell & Check Battle Droid
Anakin Skywalker (Mannequin)
Ahsoka Tano (Sudoku)
Cad Bane (Bad Name)
Darth Sidious
George Trooper leader
George Troopers
Buster
Sparky
General Grievous (Fancy CGI)
Stormtroopers (Fancy CGI)
Boba Fett (Bounty Hunters)
Vulture Droids (Enemy Fighters)

Transcript[]

[Title card: Star Wars: the Groan Wars]

[WHEN USING A FAX, DOCUMENTS SHOULD BE PLACED FACING UP]

Narrator: Bounty hunters, enemy fighters and fancy CGI can't save these characters from looking just as wooden as Pinocchio...

[Case in point, Pinocchio's picture appears]

Narrator: ... Who, on a secret mission, leads the Jedi against the evil Count Poopoo.

Count Poopoo: You have learned much, Master Occhio.

Pinocchio: I'm full of surprises, Poopoo.

[To name just one, Pinocchio's nose grows big... and becomes ignited into a lightsaber]

Count Poopoo: I take it that's a lie.

[Pinocchio and Count Poo Poo duel]

[Count Poo Poo slashes Pinocchio's lines, and down goes Gepetto's puppet]

[Scene goes to Geppetto]

Geppetto: [With Italian Accent] Ah, no, Pinocchio! Why you no have more midi-chlorinis?

[Scene goes back to Pinocchio, who is lying down, and Count Poo Poo]

[two droids appear at door]

Count Poo Poo: Take him away. Then give Poo Poo a nice diagonal wipe.

[Right on cue, scene goes to Obi-Wan Kenobi with two clones]

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Rex, we've got to get those plans.

Spot: Yeah, I'm actually Spot. That's Rex.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Oh sorry, Spot.

Checkers: Actually, I'm Checkers.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ugh. I hate working with clones.

[Obi cuts the door with his lightsaber in Ghostbusters logo style]

[The door goes down]

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Give it up, Poopoo. Your army is on its last legs.

Count Poopoo: [playing pool... with his lightsaber] Says who?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Well, for starters, that last battle droid is just a repurposed Spell & Check.

Spell & Check Droid: Spell "Courscant". C--

[A blaster bolt nails the Spell & Check droid's head.]

Count Poopoo: This is where Poopoo starts to run.

[Poo Poo runs away to the nearest elevator under blaster fire]

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Mannequin, Poo Poo's escaping.

[Scene goes to Manakin and Sudoku]

Mannequin: Sudoku!

Sudoku: Yes, Master?

Mannequin: Prepare to catch Poo Poo.

Sudoku: Ughh. I hate his name, but I love lasagna.

Bad Name: Wait 'til you get a load of me.

Sudoku: ... I think the gardener's here.

Bad Name: I'm the bounty hunter known as Bad Name.

Mannequin: I'm guessing "Bad Outfit" was already taken.

Bad Name: [Mocking] "I'm guessing Bad Outfit was already taken!"

Mannequin: Old Jedi mind trick.

Bad Name: It wasn't a Jedi mind trick. I was clearly mocking you. But I am free for landscaping and general lawn care. No? Not interested? THEN DIE!

[Bad Name starts to fight Mannequin and Sudoku]

[Scene goes to Poo Poo running and talking to Palpatine who appears as a hologram.]

Palpatine: What's the news, Poo Poo?

Count Poo Poo: Actually, you're in the potato salad.

Palpatine: What?! Oh, gross. [Splat] Did you g-get the plan?

Count Poo Poo: Uh. My lord, you seem to be breaking up a bit.

Palpatine: [In real life] Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm... microwaving a burrito.

Count Poo Poo: Not to worry, my lord. Soon, the entire galaxy will be yours to rule.

Palpatine: [Back to hologram] Rule? Who wants to rule it? I want to own it. You have any idea what the toy rights are worth?

Count Poo Poo: Then what are these plans for?

Palpatine: Duh. An amusement park!

[Scene goes to Palpatine dancing with dance music near Six Fetts Star Wars Mountain.]

Count Poopoo: But what about the Senate and the--

Palpatine: Blah, blah, blah. That's a day job. The real money's in marketing. Luckily, my other clone army has been much more productive.

Count Poopoo: What "other clone army"?

[Scene goes back to the trio of Sudoku, Mannequin, and Obi-Wan]

Mannequin: Oh, no. Look. (Scene goes to George clone army) George Troopers.

George Trooper leader: You, take their lightsabers. You, create a video game. You, make an animated sitcom. I want a bounty hunter clothing line by the end of the week.

Mannequin: I've got a bad feeling about this.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You and the rest of the universe.

George Trooper: (Talking to a droid) Take 'em away.

Droid: Roger roger.

Buster: Actually, that's Roger. I'm Buster.

Sparky: No, I'm Sparky.

Sudoku: Ughh... I hate mondays!

[Scene ends with Palpatine dancing at bottom right corner with dance music playing.]

Trivia[]

To emphasize the point about the animation looking "wooden" (Which is a reference to the criticism that most fans gave both The Clone Wars series and film about how the animation was clearly not at the level of something by a company like Disney or Pixar.), characters are actually given a sort of wood grain-esque texture.
When Obi-Wan slices open the door, he cuts it in the shape of the Ghostbusters logo.
The Spell & Check tries to spell Coruscant, which prior to being the name of the city planet in Star Wars also means sparkling or gleaming.
Sudoku, the Ahsoka spoof, is made to have the mannerisms and look of the popular comic strip character Garfield which includes his love of lasagna. This could be a potential reference to the criticism that cropped up about Ahsoka being somewhat lazy and worthless with Anakin having to do most of the work himself.
The toy Palpatine had looked like a Ewok with R2-D2 body and a mask.
The amusement park was called Six Fetts Star Wars Mountain. This is an obvious reference to the popular theme park chain Six Flags as well as a further riffing on how insane the marketing had become for the Star Wars franchise which is pushed even further by the reaction to the George Troopers which further parodies the reaction to the commercialization the series has seen.
To further emphasize the "wooden" crack at the series, Anakin is named Mannequin which could also be seen as a potential jab at the character and how he was portrayed in the prequel films by Hayden Christiansen who many had said made him emote about as well as a mannequin.
Palpatine dances two times. One behind his amusement park which with it being a nod to Six Flags is obviously done as a nod to its mascot Mr. Six and the second time was below Sudoku to close the episode.
Geppetto sounds like Mario though it's most likely just a coincidence.
Boba Fett, General Grievous (with assorted battle droids and oddly enough Stormtroopers), and Vulture Droids cameo in the beginning.
Antagonist: Count Poopoo
Protagonist: the Jedi and the Republic
The clones' names are easily confused. This is a potential jab at the idea of the TV series trying to give the clones individual character traits and personalities since realistically, their names would constantly get mixed up.
The line "I've gotta bad feeling about this." which has appeared in almost every piece of Star Wars media so far, appears in this spoof.
A few goofs are noticeably in place such as Stormtroopers appearing in the opening despite this being set in the era of the Clone Wars AKA the prequels. We see that Palpatine is donning his scars and pale skin from Return of the Jedi and Revenge of the Sith once again despite the era. Boba Fett appears at the mention of bounty hunters when it should more than likely be Cad Bane/Bad Name and finally, every Clone Trooper seen is donning the armor and appearance of Captain Rex which is odd considering that in the show with a few exceptions, each clone had their own appearance and personality so that one could tell them apart.
The "I hate mondays" and dancing Palpatine, became a meme in 2020