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MAD Ask a Celebrity

About[]

It's a segment where a person asks any celebrity a question and they answer it.

Transcript[]

Season 1[]

TransBOREmores / Star Wars: the Groan Wars[]

Announcer: And now it's time for Ask a Celebrity.

Mila: Dear Miley Cyrus, Do you do anything special to prepare for a big show? -Mila, California

Miley Cyrus: To insure an electric performance, I rub cats on my feet and walk on a wool carpet.

Zeb: Dear Simon Cowell, Why are you always so grouchy? -Zeb, Colorado

Simon Cowell: Because my shoes are made of porcupines.

Zeb: But why are the porcupines so grouchy?

Porcupine: Because we got Simon Cowell on our backs.

Scott: Dear Shaun White, How did you get your hair so long? -Scott, Long Island

Shaun White: Every morning I start fresh by putting putty dough in my chest and then lowering my arms.

[Enter MAD News.]


Class of the Titans / Zeke and Lex Luthor[]

Announcer: And now it's time for Ask the Celebrity.

Janelle: Dear Jonas Brothers, How do you guys stay so close? -Janelle

Kevin Jonas: Well, we rehearse together...

Nick Jonas: We go on vacations together...

Joe Jonas: And we're a giant three-headed monster.

Giant 3-Headed Jonas Brothers Monster: ROOOOOOOOOOOOAR!

Hope: Dear Megan Fox, If you weren't an actress, what would you be? -Hope

Megan Fox: I guess I'll be a dentist because I can always get the boys to say aah.

Eric: Dear Jake Gyllenhaal, how do you spell your last name? -Eric

Jake Gyllenhaal: Gyle-no wait Gyll-no hang on Jille? Gille? (The giant 3-headed monster grabs Jake Gyllenhaal) YAAAH!

Giant 3-Headed Jonas Brothers Monster: ROOOOOOOOOOOOAR!


So You Think You Can Train Your Dragon How to Dance / Yo Gagga Gagga![]

Announcer: And now it's time for Ask the Celebrity.

Robert: Dear Selena Gomez, Do you have magical powers like you do on Wizards of Waverly Place? -Robert

Selena Gomez: I have the power to make people do what I command. You, drop that water. Do it or you're fired! Now get on your hands and knees and lick it up! Magic. Keep licking!

Sally: Dear Taylor Swift, Where do you keep all of your awards? -Sally

Taylor Swift: I keep them down here in my basement right next to all the people who didn't vote for me. [mockingly] I'm sorry I didn't vote for you, Taylor. [laughs]

Ivan: Dear Jay-Z, What's been the greatest moment of your life so far? -Ivan

Jay-Z: Well, there was this one concert, uh, I mean it was the day I married my beautiful and talented wife, Beyoncé. [whispering] It was the concert.

Beyoncé: I can hear you.

Jay-Z: It really was the concert.

[SLAP!]

5-second Cartoon[]

Jay-Z: It really was that concert.


HOPS / Naru210[]

Announcer: And now it's time for Ask the Celebrity.

Carlos: Dear Shakira, How do you do all those crazy dance moves? -Carlos, Florida

Shakira: Easy. I had all of my bones surgically removed. [Shakira dances to dance music, only to get tangled up] Um, a little help here.

Olivia: Dear Zac Efron, why is your hair always in your eyes? -Olivia, New York

Zac Efron: The answer's quite simple, really. My hair is a living thing that constantly tries to eat my head. It's totally annoying. [Living Hair Creature chomps Zac Efron.] (Muffled) AAAAAAH! HELP! HELP!

Stan: Dear Katy Perry, why are your eyes always so big? -Stan, Idaho

Katy Perry: That's because I'm always about 3 feet from this crazy guy.

[Crazy guy does crazy things and babbles.]

Season 2[]

The Adventures of TaunTaun / Everybody Loves Rayman[]

Announcer: And now it's time for Ask the Celebrity.

Delia: Dear Tina Fey, what's the difference between you and the character you play, Liz Lemon? -Thanks, Delia

Tina Fey: Well, Liz Lemon is a successful comedy writer who has trouble juggling her personal life with her professional. I, on the other hand, am made of bees. *Bees buzzing, glasses klink*

Steve: Hey George Clooney, what did you look like as a kid? -Signed, Steve

George Clooney: Actually, I was a small and scrawny man-child. But, wait! This isn't me! This is Jon Cryer! I've always been amazing.

Bryan: Dear Natalie Portman, you're a mom, an actress, a writer and a producer! How do you do it all? -Love, Bryan

Natalie Portman: Easy! Sorcery! *Thunder crackles, tree falls* (Evilly) MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Season 3[]

Here Comes the Doom / Brain Purge[]

Announcer: And now it's time for Ask the Celebrity!

"Dear Nicholas Cage, what are your biggest acting influences?"

Himself: Oh, there's so many. My pet cobras, a dog I saw once, me in a mirror, a static image of a baby crying, a sound of shattering glass, and a burning candle.

"Dear Samuel L. Jackson, who is your favorite Avenger?"

Himself: Oh, they're all great. But my favorite is, uh, uh, you know the, that one. With the car? Doesn't one of them have a car?

"Dear Jennifer Lawrence, how did you get the part of Katniss in the Hunger Games?"

Herself: It's a funny story, actually. I went to the audition, but I got there an hour early. So I had to sit around and wait for the other girls to show up. Then I shot them all with a bow and air and arrow. For reals.

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