Smallville: Turn Off the Clark

Smallville: Turn Off the Clark is a crossover between Smallville and Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.

This segment is from MAD Season 1, Episode 22: The Social Netjerk / Smallville: Turn Off the Clark.

Summary[]

After filming the series finale for Warner Bros.' TV show Smallville (and before the episode's CGI scene with Clark Kent himself ripping open his shirt and revealing his Superman suit is made), Superman (Clark Kent) finds work in Julie Taymor's new musical.

References[]

Characters[]

Announcer (Not in Story)
Clark Kent
Lois Lane
Chloe Sullivan
Warner Bros. Director
Warner Bros. Producer
Julie Taymor
Bono
Spider-Man
Brainiac
Stunt Manager
Dr. Fate
Darkseid
Green Arrow
Lana Lang
Jonathan Kent
Lionel Luthor
Hawkman
Lex Luthor

Transcript[]

(Segment begins at Superman's Fortress of Solitude.)

Announcer: We now return you to the season finale of Smallville.

(Title Card: Smallville)

Clark Kent: Finally, I get to on the suit, Lois. I'm going in there a boy wearing a red and blue outfit but coming out a man wearing a red and blue outfit.

Lois Lane: (Talking to Chloe) He needs to diversify more.

Chloe Sullivan: (Gasps) Look! It's a bird!

Lois Lane: It's a plane!

Chloe Sullivan: It's--

(Toilet flushes)

Clark Kent: (Coming out of bathroom) Itchy.

(Buzzer at Warner Bros. Studios)

Warner Bros. Director: Ok. That's a wrap on season 10, everybody. Nice work.

Clark Kent: Wait, what just happened?

Warner Bros. Director: The show's over.

Clark Kent: But I just put the suit on! Isn't this where the show should begin?

Warner Bros. Producer: You know, he's right. That would have made a much better series. Oh, well. Let's grab a smoothie.

Clark Kent: You mean, I don't get to do ANYTHING?

Julie Taymor: Maybe I can help.

Clark Kent: Mom?

Julie Taymor: Nope. I'm Julie Taymor. Bono and I turned Spider-Man (pulls hurt Spider-Man) into a Broadway musical.

Spider-Man: (Wrapped in cast) M-m-m-ake it st-t-t-t-op!

Clark Kent: That was you? Nice going, Brainiac.

Brainiac: Hey, don't blame that mess on me.

Julie Taymor: (Drops Spider-Man) Forget him. We'll start fresh. I'll call it Smallville: Turn Off the Clark.

(Title card: Smallville: Turn Off the Clark)

Clark Kent: Wow. That title doesn't even make sense.

Stunt Manager: One more wire, and we'll have you rigged so you can fly, Mr. Kent.

Clark Kent: Actually, I can fly on my own.

Stunt Manager: Sorry. Union rules.

(Man pulls rope causing Clark Kent to fly)

Clark Kent: Aah! (Grunts)

(Clark crashes on the floor)

Stunt Manager: I saw that coming.

Dr. Fate: You can see into the future, too?

Stunt Manager: No, but I worked with Julie Taymor before.

Julie Taymor: Cue the meteor!

(Meter falls down and hits Clark Kent)

Clark Kent: Oof!

(Clark crashes)

(Scene goes to Clark with Darkseid)

Clark Kent: Darkseid? What happened to you?

Darkseid: I'm told my regular head isn't big enough to be seen from the back row.

(Darkseid's head comes off and lands on Clark)

Clark Kent: (Grunts)

(Scene goes to globe saying "The Daily Planet")

Clark Kent: That globe looks dangerous.

Julie Taymor: Nah. It's made of papier-mâché.

(Globe falls down and lands on Clark's head)

Julie Taymor: It's the letters that are heavy.

Stunt Manager: Julie, we have to close the show. It's too dangerous.

Julie Taymor: Are you kidding? That's the great thing about working with real superheroes. They're invulnerable.

(Green Arrow swings and lands on wall)

Green Arrow: (Grunts) Uhh, I'm Green Arrow. I don't actually have any real powers.

Julie Taymor: What kind of power do you want?

Green Arrow: How about the power to delay opening night?

Julie Taymor: Too late!

(Scene goes to people talking and standing outside of the theater which says "Smallville: Turn off the Clark Premiere tonight!")

Chloe Sullivan: Lana Lang? You came back just to see this?

Jonathan Kent: Heck, I came back from the dead to see this train wreck. (Scene goes to theater which people are cheering and applauding)

(Curtain opens to see the cast)

Cast: ♫ S-M-A-Double-L-V-I-L-L spells Smallville ♫

♫ If you add an "E" ♫

(Scene goes to Clark Kent)

Clark Kent: ♫ Small by myself ♫

♫ Don't want to be small by myself ♫

Lionel Luthor: ♫ One "L" is for Lionel ♫

♫ The other is for Luthor ♫

♫ I've got so much darn money you'll crow just like a rooster ♫

(Clucks)

(Cheering and applauding are heard from the audience)

Clark Kent: (From backstage) Lois, shouldn't we be putting our powers to a better use than a musical?

Hawkman: Where's my mace? That's my cue! Where's my mace?

(Clark hands Hawkman his mace)

Lois Lane: Julie says theater brings joy to everyone. Why would she lie about that?

Julie Taymor: Well, we finally did it.

(Julie pulls out her head revealing to be Lex Luthor's head)

Lex Luthor: We finally made a fool of Superman, huh, Zod?

Bono: Actually, I really am Bono.

Lex Luthor: Oh. Uh, nice. Nice work.

(Scene goes to crew)

Crew: ♫ He's Superman, it ain't a lark all he needed to do was turn off the Clark! ♫

Clark Kent: Yeah!

(Segment ends)

Trivia[]

The segment explained the ending of Smallville.
This means that Smallville never let Clark wear the suit, and when he did in this sketch, it was itchy.
There were two titles in the segment: "Smallville" and "Smallville: Turn Off the Clark."
The crew who sang contained:
1. Clark Kent
2. Dr. Fate
3. Lois Lane
4. Green Arrow
5. Chloe Sullivan
6. Darkseid
7. Brainiac
8. Hawkman
9. Lionel Luthor
Antagonists: the whole Warner Bros. Crew and Lex Luthor (under the guise of Julie Taymor)
This is the 15th segment that the name of a MAD parody is said.
Despite many known Smallville characters appear in this episode, Tess, Pete, Martha, Jimmy, Kara, Davis, Jason, and Zod don't appear.
There is a toy by Fisher-Price that really would make Clark crash like in the musical (see in the part in the segment with Clark crashing into the air when trying to fly on his own).
Green Arrow doesn't REALLY have the power to delay opening night.
There is absolutely NO WAY Jonathan Kent could come back from the dead just to see the musical. But it's MAD, so who cares?